Incongruency

A common issue for anyone attempting to engage in social interactions is that what you say, think, feel and do may not be truly aligned. To be incongruent. You make the attempt to be social but there is a disconnect from what you want to present and who you really are.

People can sense that there is a misalignment in your character and interpret it as a red flag. That you’re a fraud. That you’re hiding your true intentions. That you’re trying to take advantage of them.

They're not wrong. You’re pretending to be something you’re not. It smells of insecurity or even worse, manipulation. In order to make a connection, you need to build trust.

How do you build trust? By putting yourself out there. Not an image or persona. But by expressing yourself in a way that is true to your human experience. Put some skin in the game. Wear your heart on your sleeve. You will see that others will do the same.