Frames

What is a “frame”? Your frame is how you perceive the world. It’s what you choose to focus on, and the meaning you assign to variables in the environment. The strongest frame wins. In any interaction, the participants’ frames are colliding or collaborating. The stronger frame is adopted and becomes the consensus reality. People are drawn in by it, because it provides a stable psychological space that's worth inhabiting.

This is why people with charisma can draw others in. They are operating internally on a pure level, without micro-managing their state with filters of doubt. Having a strong reality means not thinking of social interaction as something having potentially negative consequences. Most people learn it through past success.

This is where sub-communication comes in. If you are concerned with the outcome, you will broadcast a reality of neediness, which in turn sub-communicates low social value. People with high value have no tension. They are at ease, they’re not concerned with proving themselves, nor are they affected by how others judge them. Someone with a strong reality will not feel self-doubt under social pressure. Someone with a weak reality will feel suffocated.